Private Parts

Private Parts

Boogers, blood, puke, puss, pee, poop, wieners, butts, and breasts.

There are fundamental differences between the sexes which emerge shortly after conception. To prove my point, see if you can place the context, the dyamics and vocal inflections, and determine whether I, as father of and uncle to the participants was alarmed, indifferent to, or mollified by the events which prededed this conversation:

“Nathan! … You kicked me in the wiener!”

“Oh no. Oh no. My sock is starting to shrivel!”

“That's because I peed on it!”

Your time is up. Here's my interpretation.

The boys were wrestling in the living room. As Adam dove, Nathan stuck out his foot in self defense. What happened next is obvious, but the vocal inflections are missing and thus arise potential ambiguities.

Be assured, Adam was not hurt during this exchange. But he has a territorial sense. Certain acts are entirely unacceptable. Thus, Adam instinctively brought this to Nathan's attention. After all, he couldn't apologize for having his wiener get in the way of Nathan's foot, nor could he laugh at being kicked. THE CODE dictates: Deny or ignoare and certain situations will acerbate. Thus the pause between the words “Nathan” and “you.”

Furthermore, it was important to voice indignation without accusation. This was solely a statement of fact. Thus, “Nathan! … You kicked me in the wiener!” conveyed the explicit message, “This is unacceptable. What do you have to say for yourself? (And it had better be GOOD.)”

It's a guy thing, really. Nathan's apparent options were to apologize, deny, or ignore the situation. However, THE CODE says you don't apologize for what you didn't intend to do, especially in light of shared culpability. Also, when confronted by eye witnesses (after all, Adam's dad was there and had AT LEAST heard the conversation) lying, denying, or ignoring serious allegations diminishes your stature.

So when a guy can't apologize, deny, or ignore a situation, he must laughg, although there are many ways to laugh in context. One can laught to avoid or to cause tears, to avoid or to cause fear, to avoid or to cause anger, to confuse or to clarigy an issue.

This situation wasn't about tears, fears, anger, confusion, or clarification. It was about territory. That's why they're called private parts. So Nathan responded in laughter, saying: “Oh no. Oh no. My sock is starting to shrivel!”

Tjhis response did not belittle Adam nor the incident. Kicking a guy in the wiener is unacceptable, but in this case, totally unintentional. As retribution, Nathan's sock would pay the price of revulsion and repulsion therby relieving Nathan of the obligation to apologize.

And thus THE CODE was almost served, but not entirely, because after all, it was Adam's wiener which had been kicked, although overlooked was the reality that had he not been diving at Nathan this incident would not have occurred.

Therefore it was imperative for Adam to have THE LAST WORD, to let Nathan know, that while Adam acknowledged and accepted the unintentional nature of the act, there would be consequences.

All right! Kick me in the wiener will you? Then laught about it? Make a joke? Ere's a funnier joke – I've peed on your sock. Next time you won't get off so lightly. Thus THE CODE was served. They had both behaved impeccably.