Lucky in Love - Part II

I was the prototype for the TV series Ally McBeal. Of course, they couldn't have called the show Markie McFeel, because who could imagine a guy being so sensitive. And too, I never materialized Al Green (God didn't make, little green apples, and it don't snow in Indiannapoles in the Summertime) in a coed washroom.

Nonetheless, I make sense of the world around me through the filter of the songs of my heart, songs etched in my soul, singing round and round, the lietmotifs of the intersection of my life and the real world.

The first things a song conjures for me is memory, of specific times and places, where I heard the song, probably on a car radio, or in a dorm room at college, or in my bedroom, on the cheap turn table that gave me so much solace and succor for so many years.

These lyrics to these three tunes came round recently, and pulled me back in time, and for the present, enlightened and illuminated my failings and misunderstandings of events passed.

Diamonds and Rust was popular in the Spring of 1975, when I moved into my first apartment with Linda. The Fogelberg songs were brought to my attention by my good friend John Heins, an actuary with whom I worked, drank, partied and golfed, back in the day. The Fogelberg tunes were popular circa 1983, a momentous year for me, when I left a wonderful woman to go live near Tinker Belle, with whom I would jog to Lake Michigan, every morning for three consecutive days, until she caught pneumonia.

All three songs speak to memory, and for me, address the most confounding question of "Why?"

As a writer, I am quite limited. No originality, little creativity. I'm screwed, I speak English (Lenny Bruce - see, not an original thought in my head). I write to report only the facts - the who, the what, the when, the how. The "Why?" is, I believe and ineffable. Never trust a person who will give you a simple answer to "Why?" The truth, while within them, lies buried deep, and they deceive themselves.

Hard to Say was a popular tune on AM radio. One of those songs which reached out and grabbed me -- like Tracy Chapman's Fast Car, Dire Straits The Sultans of Swing, Don McClean's American Pie, Eric Clapton's If I Saw You in Heaven, Paul McCartney's Yesterday, Bob Dylan's Positively Fourth Street, Bob Seeger's Against the Wind, Simon and Garfunkel's Bridge Over Troubled Waters, Crosby Stills and Nash's Suite: Judy Blue Eyes, Richie Haven's Freedom, to name but a few, which might not have done the same for you, but at least provide a framework.

It was not until I (finally) got around to listening to the entire Fogelberg album that I saw why EACH TIME THE SKY BEGINS TO SNOW YOU CRY.

Joan Baez - Diamonds And Rust Lyrics

Well I'll be damned

Here comes your ghost again

But that's not unusual

It's just that the moon is full

And you happened to call

And here I sit

Hand on the telephone

Hearing a voice I'd known

A couple of light years ago

Heading straight for a fall

As I remember your eyes

Were bluer than robin's eggs

My poetry was lousy you said

Where are you calling from?

A booth in the midwest

Ten years ago

I bought you some cufflinks

You brought me something

We both know what memories can bring

They bring diamonds and rust

Well you burst on the scene

Already a legend

The unwashed phenomenon

The original vagabond

You strayed into my arms

And there you stayed

Temporarily lost at sea

The Madonna was yours for free

Yes the girl on the half-shell

Would keep you unharmed

Now I see you standing

With brown leaves falling around

And snow in your hair

Now you're smiling out the window

Of that crummy hotel

Over Washington Square

Our breath comes out white clouds

Mingles and hangs in the air

Speaking strictly for me

We both could have died then and there

Now you're telling me

You're not nostalgic

Then give me another word for it

You who are so good with words

And at keeping things vague

Because I need some of that vagueness now

It's all come back too clearly

Yes I loved you dearly

And if you're offering me diamonds and rust

I've already paid

Artist  : Dan fogelberg
Song : Hard to say

Lucky at love
Well, maybe so
There's still a lot of things you'll
  never know
Like why each time the sky begins
  to snow
You cry...

You're faithful to her
In your careless way
So you miss her when she's far away
But every time you think you've
got it straight
You fall --

You face the future with a weary
past
Those dreams you banked upon are
fading fast
You know you love her but it may
not last, your fear  --

It's never easy
And it's never clear
Who's to navigate
And who's to steer
So you flounder drifting ever
near the rocks.

It's hard to say where love
  went wrong
It's hard to say just when
It's hard to walk away from
  love
It may never come again.

You do your best to keep your
hand in play
And try to keep those lonesome
blues at bay
You think you're winning but it's
hard to say sometimes.

It's hard to say where love
  went wrong
It's hard to say just when
It's hard to walk away from
  love
It may never come again.

Lucky at love
Well, maybe so
There's still a lot of things you'll
  never know
Like why each time the sky begins
  to snow
You cry...

Same Old Lang Syne - Dan Fogelberg

Met my old lover in the grocery store
The snow was falling Christmas Eve
I stole behind her in the frozen foods
And I touched her on the sleeve

She didn't recognize the face at first
But then her eyes flew open wide
She went to hug me and she spilled her purse
And we laughed until we cried

We took her groceries to the checkout stand
The food was totaled up and bagged
We stood there lost in our embarrassment
As the conversation dragged

We went to have ourselves a drink or two
But couldn't find an open bar
We bought a six pack at the liquor store
And we drank it in her car

CHORUS:
We drank a toast to innocence
We drank a toast to now
We tried to reach beyond the emptiness
But neither one knew how

She said she'd married her an architect
Who kept her warm and safe and dry
She would've liked to said she loved the man
But she didn't like to lie

I said the years had been a friend to her
And that her eyes were still as blue
But in those eyes I wasn't sure if I
Saw doubt or gratitude

She said she saw me in the record store
And that I must be doing well
I said the audience was heavenly
But the traveling was hell

CHORUS

We drank a toast to innocence
We drank a toast to time
Living in our eloquence
Another auld lang syne

The beer was empty and our tongues were tired
And running out of things to say
She gave a kiss to me as I got out
And I watched her drive away

Just for a moment I was back at school
And felt that old familiar pain
And as I turned to make my way back home
The snow turned into rain

Lucky at love
Well, maybe so
There's still a lot of things you'll
  never know
Like why each time the sky begins
  to snow
You cry...