I receive a follow up to the "this must have been a difficult e-mail to write" posting

This must have been a difficult e-mail to compose!

From my licensed social worker, about three weeks after she had me "voluntarily" confined to Elgin Mental Health Facility.

Hi Mark,

I know you have been through a lot since we last met.  If you would like to continue meeting with me, I could see you on Tuesday Dec 14th at 3pm.

Whatever you decide, know that I am wishing you well.

Suzanne

Since, to quote Tull, "I may make you feel, but I can't make you think," I replied with enough information to at least give her ticks of sleeplessness at night - for the rest of her life:

Thanks for doing the best you knew how

Try to learn from it and do better with your clients for the future.

Bi-polar disorder:  What is the etiology?  Nothing but behavioral standards.  The poor person labeled "bi-polar" has to fight like a trapped animal to escape the clutches of those who label.  Read Thomas Szasz.

Same goes for alcoholic.  We can understand the etiology of alcohol poisoning.  We can rarely understand the behaviour of one who has immersed themselves in alcohol for daze on end - walking around with a BAL between 0.10 and 0.24.  Their behaviour we find "unsettling," "frightening," "poorly considered," "rude," etc.  But from within the framework of the specific individual's historical retrospective, it might all be quite logical; and even if we had half a clue, we might come to the same conclusion.

These two (bi-polar, alcholism) are NOT medical conditions which can be treated by traditional western medicine.  Those so labeled, of course, ARE sick; but theirs is a sickness of the heart; a sickness of the soul; they have lost one or more of the three things needed to sustain life beyond food, water, shelter: (1) something to DO, (2) something to LOVE, (3) something to HOPE FOR.  When those three can be returned, to be seen within the clutches of possibility, THEN (and only then) will the afflicted person be able to remake themselves whole.

YOUR job, as mentor, is to help them see.

You can no more help me see, but, perhaps I can help you feel.

Be well; enjoy those small moments of stillness when the universe whispers, "the Lord of hosts is near."

Warmest regards, and profound gratitude,

Mark

(Thank you for your help.  I no longer need your assistance. You done did good kid.)

I have read and reread the original missive (see above - it was not so  massive: MG)to Suzanne, who I assume is a therapist.  The doctor Jeff is seeing, just keeps changing his meds and I don't see that he is really giving one medicine time to work  ( more than 2 weeks )  And I don't like the way that affect Jeff either.   

This disease of bi polar is heartbreaking for everyone.  It hurts me to see him hurting and seemingly without hope.  He has been living here with us for about 3 months now.  He seems to stay more to himself, reading the Bible and also reading  all kinds of self help books.  The separation and pending divorce have hurt him more than I can hardly bear to watch.  

He has a part time job, but he rarely makes it on time and I worry that he is going to lose that.  I feel that getting up and getting ready and getting to the job and working are " structure " that help him.   He was married to a very volatile wife as well, and I know she won't hesitate to have him thrown in jail if he does not keep up his child support payments, which he has been doing.  It is like you told me  several weeks ago,  it has an effect on the whole family.  My husband is NOT understanding at all.  He can't grasp why Jeff is  " acting" this way.   I keep trying to educate him and send him articles I am finding on the internet about depression and also  bi polar.   Any help you can give me, or any light you can shed  will be  important to me.   Should I make a doctor's appt for him and go with him? (YES, absolutely; probably the only way to ensure that he gets there ... at this juncture, he has no energy)    Kind of like take him by the hand and lead him there?    Hugs, Linda

And I replied:

But bi-polar is NOT a disease - merely a description of a set of (very limited) observations made from without.

Which is not to say that Jeff is not sick.  But the sickness is most likely one of soul / spirit -- an existential crisis.  He needs a GOOD talk therapist - bartenders, waitresses often serve smashingly well in this capacity.

You can probably do no more than you already are doing.  Your husband needs to remain non-judgmental ... nobody wants to do the things a "bi-polar" person does that makes him/her so toxic to those who have known them long -- and so ATTRACTIVE to those whom they have just met.

There is a lot of pent up frustration and emotion that Jeff is carrying ... feelings suppressed; and the biggest problem with feelings suppressed is that they will scratch and crawl and fight with their last breath to get out ... they are feelings buried alive ... and you cannot predict with any accuracy the impact on Jeff of his working his emotions out.