Correspondence from a friend with cancer - the Saint, Janet Ramsey

Janet Ramsey was a wonderful friend who had beaten breast cancer - hers had been in remission 10 years. She was going to Slovakia as a missionary from the local community church when her doctor advised her that her breast cancer had returned.  She had already committed to going to Slovakia, so she replied that when she came back, they would deal with that cancer.

But when she came back, she had developed brain cancer too. Her idyllic looking life had become a shambles as her youngest son went through some very rough times, her husband traded her in for a younger model, and she had to take a very careful look at what she had become.

We played bridge every other week with Helen Bockweg and Paula McCombie. Janet would pick me up and we would have the opportunity to talk.  I had had the profound privilege of having Dr Fred Rufkin, who developed the forgiveness project out of Stanford University speak one Sunday at each of my family's church's three services, in lieu of a sermon.  I had choir singing duties, and as Fred gave two completely different talks for each, hung around for the third, which, again, was unique.

I gave Janet copies of the three different talks he had given. My brother-in-law was so good as to make a special CD of them.  Naturally, Fred talked about the huge importance of forgiveness to the physical and mental health of our lives.

Thus began the start of a lively, vigorous, and life-affirming e-mail correspondence with Janet, which I will share with you.

I would like to offer continued praise in my situation. I had two bad days last week, but under the circumstances it was a good reminder for me that yes, I have a few issues to deal with, but don't we all. The weekend with my family could not have been more perfect, I try not to be proud, but I have three g reat nieces that are truly great, beautiful, smart(1yr, 6 yr, 14 yr.)they were the best medicine in the world. Last week I had two doctors( wise men, I'm sure) who wanted me in the hospital--I used my new found boldness to tell them NO!!!, if they wanted me on Monday I would  go--not before. God knew what I needed. Along with several wonderful knowledgeable friends--whom He continues to put in my life at this time as well as before when I would not let myself believe I deserved them.(I wonder who put those thoughts in my head???). Another major praise--Nate is graduating from his Physicians Assistant program on Friday Sept 8--I will be there with bells on. I ask wisdom for Nate and Allison in the job search. And that they are able to remember that this is their future and to listen to God's leading. I would love to have them clos e-but I would much rather they try not to factor my situation in too much. Anyway I told them that's why they have frequent flyer miles. I want them to do what is best for them. They are very strong believers, with my strong Christian friends and advisors.

I do have two very important prayer requests. Justin is 21, having a slightly hard time dealing with all of this, but he is and always has been a blessing in my life. I ask fervent prayer for his salvation, and a relationship with Christ that will get him through difficult times. As a child he said he had accepted Christ. But Justin is a lot like me(or like I was 2 months ago)he lacks confidence in himself and everything else. I ask that God put people in his life to lift him up. And help him see that God has a plan for him.... I also ask prayer for Jay along the same lines.  Jay is very confident in business and making decisions about business, but not life. Jay has been very good to me through all of this(I would like to thank the choir members who welcomed him last Thursday night). For Jay I pray for a relationship with Christ and healing with the family. The healing has already started. I have told him before that I want him to be happy, I mean that with all of my he art. Life is way to short to let bitterness steal your JOY.

Thanks you again for everything--I tend to write a book when I get on here, thanks for listening.

To which I replied:

 Men and women, inspired by the holy spirit, living, wholly living, in community with fellow people, in love with God

 The portal has always been there .. waiting for you

Your eyes are open 

Now you see

All our souls are deeper than you can see

You can have everything if you just let yourself be

Please keep writing Janet ... your words are like raindrops, fallen gently
to earth, refreshing the grasses, bringing life ... water ... baptism ...
blood .... communion

People always have this choice ... to live a fully authentic life, as God
has hoped ... it is only by releasing ourselves from the fear of death ...
that we can even glimmer ... the joy of life

Thank you so much for thinking to write me

Go forth, child of God ... let your light shine

Mark

To which the Saint, Janet Ramsey responded:

Thank you so much for your emails--they meant so much to me.  And you are right, I feel like a new person, a new confident person who is completely at peace.  Yesterday morning I spent with my senior citizens--the program started with our hymn--I did only a few back rubs.  Because I knew it would be a long day for me.  We have some beautiful young girls(who are home schooled)who come every week.  They dedicated their singing to me.  Then I went up to speak--no notes, no nerves, just joy.  I started with a short explanation of the problems I had been having.  Then I went on to tell them how none of it mattered.  God knows the number of my days--I don't need to.  I just want to make sure that whatever time I have is used to God's Glory.  That was good for them, because they realized that they are not done with their work either--between 70 and 90 and they still have work to do.  One woman who has always been nice, but a bit gruff.  She is a seeker, the woman that I do the bible study with told me that Leonna is really coming around and asking serious questions.  What a blessing. 

Today Nate graduated, it was wonderful, I was so proud.  Jay had wanted to come, but he respected Nate and Allison enough to not take a chance of doing something to mess up the day.  He sent a nice gift and a card.  Justin on the other hand just didn't come.  He said he forgot.  Last weekend he seemed to be maturing, well, I still have one prayer request JUSTIN.  I'm getting tired so I'm going to try to go to bed.  We'll talk soon.   Thanks again Mark, you are a dear friend.

Janet

Earlier, I did something I never do:  passed along a chain e-mail to Janet.  But, I just had to.

Date: Thu, 31 Aug 2006 02:44:31 +0000

Thinking fondly about youi all.

p.s. this is only the second time I've passed around one of these.

With Love to you and all you Love,

Mark



READ EACH SENTENCE SLOWLY AND THINK ABOUT IT.

Love starts with a smile,
grows with a kiss,
and ends with a tear.
Don't cry over anyone
who won't cry over you.
Good friends are hard to find,
harder to leave,
and impossible to forget.
Don't let the past hold you back,
you're missing the good stuff.
BEST FRIENDS are the siblings
God forgot to give us.
When it hurts to look back,
and you're scared to look ahead,
you can look be si de you
and your BEST FRIEND will be there.
Nobody is perfect
Until you fall in love with them

Send this on to everyone special in your life,
even the people who really make you mad sometimes
and to the people whose lives you want to be in!!!
And send it back to the person who sent it to you
if they mean something to you!!

Remember, every minute spent! angry is
sixty seconds of happiness wasted.

Just send this to (4) people and see what happens on the fourth day.

From: <leegold52@sbcglobal.net>

To: <ramseyjanet@comcast.net>
Subject: RE: READ EACH SENTENCE SLOWLY AND THINK ABOUT IT.
Date: Mon, 11 Sep 2006 03:25:47 +0000

Missy,

This is one of the sweetest emails Ive ever gotten especially the Best Friends are the siblings God forgot to give us. (of course that would apply to me since I dont have any)

Love you angel

 Lee

FW: RE: READ EACH SENTENCE SLOWLY AND THINK ABOUT IT.

Thursday, October 26, 2006 7:31 AM

From:"ramseyjanet@comcast.net

To:mark@yahoo.com

Thanks Mark, it is perfect!!!!!

Mark,

Excuse me if you are on my heart alot right now, but I'm back on my soap box.  This from a woman who would never have believed myself worth listening to three months ago.  Now with the help of the Holy Spirit I can't seem to shut up.  God made us all for His Glory, we all have purpose if we choose to  accept it.  I have no idea how many millions of opportunities I missed to share Christ with people, lucky for me and them God knows that we don't always use the opportunities we are given and He can use others more willing to follow the call.  That doesn't mean we are ever off the hook, so to speak...  We have new opportunities every day--it is for our blessing that God gives these chances--we need to accept and embrace that God loves so much He wants to give us purpose.  I spent 52 years thinking I had only to purposes Wife and Mother--both wonderful parts of life, but because I believed it was I could be or should be, I was far from perfe ct at either.  If you start out feeling you have nothing to give, in a way you are right.  I heard my whole life you need to love God first then yourself before you could truly love anyone else.  I know believe that, I love God first because He is love, He gives us to capacity, the knowledge and the perfect example.  If you do not love yourself you are telling God He made a mistake, again I've been trying that my whole life--on the other hand if I think nothing of myself, who am I to tell God--this time you didn't get it quite right, I can't serve you because You left something out in me.  For those feelings alone I should have been stroke by lightning or something.  But our God is a patient God-He is not surprised when we fight Him(or try to fight Him)He just loves us and gives us more chances like we give our own children.  Mark, like me you have touched more lives than you know.  And each and every one would have a great whole in thei r lives without you in it....And like me you have more people to reach.  If God were done with you here He would take you home.  If you ever have ideas of helping it along, like I did--That is not the HOLY SPIRIT talking we both know who that is.  I can speak from experience that is one hurt that you can leave with a child that nothing can take away. 

If this never occurred to you, it is still a good reminder.  The evil one puts thoughts in our heads all the time we need to remember the truth of God's love, if we are still breathing--it means He has a purpose for us.  For me I hope I never turn my back on another opportunity....

Love,

Janet

From: ramseyjanet@comcast.net
To: helen@vcbweb.org (Helen Marrano)
Date: Thu, 7 Sep 2006 12:00:12 +0000

I would like to offer continued praise in my situation.  I had two bad days last week, but under the circumstances it was a good reminder for me that yes, I have a few issues to deal with, but don't we all.  The weekend with my family could not have been more perfect, I try not to be proud, but I have three great nieces that are truly great, beautiful, smart(1yr, 6 yr, 14 yr.)they were the best medicine in the world.  Last week I had two doctors( wise men, I'm sure) who wanted me in the hospital--I used my new found boldness to tell them NO!!!, if they wanted me on Monday I would go--not before.  God knew what I needed.  Along with several wonderful knowledgeable friends--whom He continues to put in my life at this time as well as before when I would not let myself believe I deserved them.(I wonder who put those thoughts in my head???).  Another major praise--Nate is graduating from his Physicians Assistant program on Friday Sept 8--I will be there with bells on.  I ask wisdom for Nate and Allison in the job search.  And that they are able to remember that this is their future and to listen to God's leading.  I would love to have them close-but I would  much rather they try not to factor my situation in too much.  Anyway I told them that's why they have frequent flyer miles.  I want them to do what is best for them.  They are very strong believers, with my strong Christian friends and advisors.

I do have two very important prayer requests.  Justin is 21, having a slightly hard time dealing with all of this, but he is and always has been a blessing in my life.  I ask fervent prayer for his salvation, and a relationship with Christ that will get him through difficult times.  As a child he said he had accepted Christ.  But Justin is a lot like me(or like I was 2 months ago)he lacks confidence in himself and everything else.  I ask that God put people in his life to lift him up.  And help him see that God has a plan for him....  I also ask prayer for Jay along the same lines.  Jay is very confident in business and making decisions about business, but not life.  Jay has been very good to me through all of this(I would like to thank the choir members who welcomed him last Thursday night).  For Jay I pray for a relationship with Christ and healing with the family.  The healing has already started.  I have told him before that I want him to be happy, I mean that with all of my heart.  Life is way to short to let bitterness steal your JOY.

Thanks you again for everything--I tend to write a book when I get on here, thanks for listening.

From: dodo@otcovesrdce.sk
Dear Janet,

Barb wrote me some letters in a few last weeks. We pray for you and your family. I am thankful God i can know you. It is so big privilege for me. When i read these letters i am so suprised how strong you are...

I often think about our last camp and i miss you all so much. I had again busy summer, but this camp was for me the top. We did for kids cd with a lot of pictures from camp and nice music, i believe they will like it.

Next week i will have first lessons at school, new school year begins and i promised myself i will be diligent student :)

I am looking forward to hear answer from you. We love you.

dodo and miska

From: ramseyjanet@comcast.net
To: dodo@otcovesrdce.sk
Subject: Re: ahoj
Date: Fri, 8 Sep 2006 08:17:27 +0000

DEAR DODO AND MISKA,

It was so good to hear from you.  If it is possible to send a CD to me I would love it.  I must tell you I have changed so much in the last few months for the better.  This is so far not even a momentary light affliction. It has all been good.  I was able to witness to the staff at the hospital--I lacked so much confidence I could not witness to family before.  Now I completely understand-my confidence is not in me, but Christ who lives in me.  That also gave me confidence in me because God does not make mistakes---My whole life I did not believe I had a right to a purpose--I thought I was to dumb, stupid and worthless--lies I carried my whole life from a sick, abusive man, who was my father.  Of course, we are all raised through the filter our own poor broken pots of parents knew as children.  However, I don't regret any of it, because it has made me the person I am now

and not only do I like this person, I firmly believe that childhood-gave me a link to all of those beautiful children in Slovakia.  If in some small way I can help--what I went through as a child is sooooo worth it.  If these kids can hear about the love of Christ and know that the God of the Universe has a plan for their lives.  It gives hope, plants seeds.(It took me 52yrs to accept that God has plans for me)  And God willing(and we know He is)one day when these children are faced a with decision they can make the right one or at least seek forgiveness and help from one of the beautiful people God has put in their lives(If you had not noticed I am referring to the FATHER'S HEART (staff and amazing volunteers).

Remember how hard it was to give a testimony--no one can shut me up now.  I don't want anyone not to be in heaven WITH ME--it was also hard the accept I would be there.  I worried that because I had made the decision it was either wrong or God could not possibly want me(remember I was no use to anyone).  I am setting goals for the first time in my life.  I know that if I'm to meet those goals I will.  God has a perfect plan for me.  I listen to the doctors, to what they say.  My life as every one else's is in God's hands.......My days have already been numbered.   The doctors can give estimates--God knows.  I have such peace knowing that as long as I live here-God wants me here--Then I go HOME!!! Is that a great life or what.  I should try to sleep a little--I did not mean to talk your ear off(ask Jeff)

I love all of you-I tell everyone who will listen how you were all waiting at the airport.

I am trying to heal my family--I've talked with my ex-husband forgiven him completely, and even his girl friend---two more people I want to see in heaven.  Mostly I want healing between my boys and their dad.  The rest of my family are coming around too, so that is a praise.  I do ask prayer for salvation for my son Justin and my ex-husband Jay.  They have both at one time or another said that they believed, but are definitely not walking with the Lord.  My daughter-in-law Allison is having a very hard with Jay(she found herself in a room with him for the first time in 2yrs.  It was ok, he was telling a funny story and I just kept my arms around her--it was a good first step.

I love you all,

Janet

From: ramseyjanet@comcast.net [mailto:ramseyjanet@comcast.net]
Sent: Sunday, August 27, 20067:08 AM
To: Nathaniel Ramsey; kelly mcquerry007@juno.com; kathy; Jaime Feathers; Jay Ramsey
Subject:

Jay,

Please take the email I sent to you with love and not condemnation--I will always love you on many levels and I worry about you.  I don't want to spend eternity feeling that I should have done more for you .....This all means so much more to me now.  I want to give you back the bible you brought to the hospital.  Please read it.   Ask questions.  And send me Justin's email address.  And forward the email to your Dad, I don't know if I still have his email address or if he can get emails at all.  I'm going to copy Nate and Allison on this because I need for you all to know how important it is to me that our family is healed--nothing else matters now.  I'm also going to copy the Des Moines connection--needless to say this has all been very hard on everybody.  If things don't go well I would rather my funeral be a time of healing rather than more pain.  Of course, my plan is to be here for years--I'm visualizing seeing my grand-kids graduate high school.  Then getting married. 

I hope this doesn't anyone too much pain, but I'm not going to think about all of this again.  From now on only positive energy, thoughts and prayers.  You can all email me with your responses, but I don't want to talk about I don't think.  Unless you need to.